Live in Light

How to bring presence to your game

“Ha ha I didn’t know I could do that move, and by the way, your visions going as grey as your hair mum”

Having just moved homes and cleared enough boxes to create space in the garage, my son and I set up the table tennis table.  We decided to play the best of 3.   

I won the first two games.  It was fun, easy, I focused on the ball and seemed to know when and where to hit it (not that the score mattered but it was 21 - 3 and 21 - 1).   So my son suggested we turn it into the best of five - funny that!

We paused to cook dinner as a family, and I got very distracted with a conversation. Triggered is probably a more accurate way of describing it. 

I didn't take time to clear myself when we went back to play.  My focus was out, I wasn't paying attention and my mind was still on the conversation.  In my first two games I was probably about 90 present and focused.  After dinner only about 20 percent.

I kept on mulling over the conversation wondering how to sort out and resolve the situation.   And the result of the following 3 games reflected it!   I allowed my distraction to block my vision, focus, judgement and ultimately the end result. 

My son was delighted as I missed serve after serve and hit after hit.   I recognised what was going on at the time, commenting to my son about it, but in the moment just noticed rather than paused to clear myself. 

Afterwards I came in and reflected on what had happened.  I had been gifted an opportunity to see the impact of presence - both the ease and joy of being fully present in the first two games, and the scattering and impact of being distracted on the following three.  

I wondered where else in my life am I doing it.  And if I'm doing this, perhaps you are too. 

(Interestingly enough this was one of the requested topics that came out of my survey last year.  I asked what you would like to ask/know or get support about it you had time with me.  One of the themes that emerged was how to be present with self and others). 

I had noticed in the previous few months as I was selling my old family home, looking for our new one and all the many things that need to be done to move, I was often not really present.  Well, physically I was, but my emotions and thoughts were elsewhere.  It was as if they were running a loop of the to-do list. 

Actually, I'd like to clarify that.  I was very present in each moment.  It's just that my presence was scattered over many places:  the many things I needed to do to get the sale through;  finding somewhere to live;  finances;  my children's needs and their upcoming exams;  my clients;  finding somewhere to work from;   birthday / Christmas and graduation planning.  If you have ever moved while keeping a family and work going you'll understand what I mean.

So where in life are you finding yourself distracted, worried, planning ahead and missing being in the moment?   Have you paused to reflect on the impact of this.   I realise that table tennis is hardly significant but the impact on the outcome of that hints to how much scattered presence can be impacting in other areas of life. 

I'm seeing it all as a cartoon: thinking of a multitude of options, running each one through in my mind and then realising the table tennis ball was almost upon me. 

So what can you do when you find yourself in your equivalent situation? 

• Be compassionate with yourself. 
• Breathe - deeply, gently allowing your breath to come all the way down your body and into the earth.  
• Give yourself some space and ask what you are really worried about.   Be really truthful.  The more honest you are with yourself the deeper you can transform the situation.   Maybe you're being compassionate and thinking of others, but under that is a fear of being accepted or a worry of doing the wrong thing and being unworthy.  Maybe you are running an old story of being unsafe around others. 
• I share in my mentoring groups a technique I affectionately call "Octopus arms".   Imagine that you have as many arms as things that you are thinking or worrying about.   Visualise each arm outstretched holding onto one of those things  (eg a client you have seen, what you are cooking for dinner, an issue you are working on;  whatever triggered you).   Imagine that each arm is attempting to get your attention and distracting you from whatever it is you are "meant" to be doing.   Then simply imagine each of those arms stretching into Infinite Love, Creator of All That Is, and  the issue being absorbed by Creator.   Any time one of those issues pops into your mind hand it back to Creator. 
• Take a moment to really connect into Unconditional Love and ask what's the big picture here. What is it that you are really meant to be learning?  This can sometimes be quite different than you expect.