Live in Light

Making friends with those not so adorable aspects of you

How do you deal with those moments when you know, you’re being less than your most brilliant self.   In that space where you’re having a really bad day.  When the person speaking on the inside is someone you’d cross the road to avoid!  Sometimes it seems a bit harder to cross the road from yourself!

I’ve met some people who are able to say to themselves  “I'm perfect, this is all happening perfectly” and be able to walk away from things.   But most people I’ve encountered haven’t found this particularly helpful in the long term.  

If you ever find yourself in that space,  here are some ideas that may help.

1. Take a breath and count to 10. Slowly.   The 12345678910 variety is less like to help than the 1…2…3…4…5..6…7…8…9…10. 
2. Use this time to let things float.   Let yourself realise you have choices and possiblities in how you react to what is going on. 
3. Unless you are the sort of person that tough love works with (and quite honestly I haven’t met many)  be gentle and compassionate with yourself. 
4. Hold space for yourself.  (Some people can sit in a noisy crowded room and create space - its petty amazing to watch but you may it may be more successful  creating a peaceful space).  Most likely this will involve being somewhere that you know you won’t be disturbed.   This could be your bedroom, a park, or if you are an active relaxer this may be on a run or bike ride.  Turn off electronic distractions - they are so good at sabotaging your time.
5. Recognise what the feelings , ideas or thoughts  (FIT for short) are that are rummaging around inside as simply that.  FIT.  You picked them up from somewhere and if you are able to,  you can let them float past.   Meditating can be fabulous for this - coming back to your breath and letting the feelings/ thoughts/ ideas float past.
6. If this is not really your thing, then asking yourself a few strategic questions can be really helpful. 
1. What does this FIT think it is doing?  The FIT came from somewhere, you’ve held onto them for a reason.   So what is that reason.   Expand gently and hold space for this part of you to emerge.   It might be a part of you that has felt unsafe, it might be years old and you are still running on an old childhood program.   Honour it when it emerges.   For all you know it thinks its keeping you safe.   I annoyed my son the other day when I said no to buying him something.   Out came the worst thing ever (when you’re 5).   I'm not inviting you to my birthday party!   Ouch.   If I was 5.   It showed how at that age he was trying to keep his power. 
2. Come out of that space and ask a different part of you - how is this helping.   The old story will probably have a really good reason.   Like it’s giving you boundaries,  helping you get control of situations.   Again a great idea having boundaries and having control.  But is this the way you want to get those.  Are you open to having them in a way that you actually like now?
3. Come out of that space and ask what you are learning from it.   Again just let the answer come to you.   It can be really helpful to acknowledge what it things its doing for you.   Sometimes simply being acknowledged is enough.
4. Come out of that space, back to the awesome energy and ask yourself what is Creator or my soul wanting me to learn.